Reprimands, Rants, Rabbits
by Rosa Cotton
Summary: Take care how you insult a wizard! Movieverse, bookverse.


Disclaimer: _The Hobbit_, all characters, places, and related terms are the sole property of J.R.R. Tolkien's estate, and Warner Brothers, New Line Cinema, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, and WingNut Films.

Author's Note: Written as a fill for a prompt on the hobbit-kink meme.

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Reprimands, Rants, Rabbits

The hour was late. There were various discussions and questions raised at the council that whirled about in Gandalf's mind, troubling, demanding consideration and action. Yes, something was starting to stir, move; something dark and he knew not what it was. A sense of urgent need to rejoin the company weighed on him. (Likely the dwarves and their burglar had retired to bed at Beorn's House for the night.) The company must soon press on in their quest. Yet in spite of all these things, he focused on his companion walking at his side. Silent, shoulders slumped, tread dragging, head bowed.

"Radagast?" Gandalf said, drawing to a halt.

The brown wizard stopped walking and looked up. Gandalf expected his friend to appear still sad and cowed, considering how he had shrunk into himself as the braiding down Saruman had unleashed on him went on and on, and was silent for the remainder of the meeting. At one point the brown wizard's shoulders had even trembled and Gandalf feared he was fighting back tears. Now what he encountered instead was a steely, highly offended gaze, lips in a firm line, whiskers bristling, the hand gripping his staff turning white, appearing in danger of exploding like one of his fireworks. The grey wizard blinked and almost took a step back.

"Did you hear what he said back there?!" Radagast demanded in a low voice, fury in each syllable.

"Ah," Gandalf murmured hesitantly, for Saruman's reprimand had been quite lengthy, in depth, and mean-spirited.

"Rhosgobel rabbits. They are _Rhosgobel_ rabbits!" Radagast went on. "Not...not...not that insulting term he spit out – where did he learn such language?!"

"Ah!" This time Gandalf's murmur held comprehension, though his brows furrowed with surprise. He had not expected this reaction at all from the normally sweet-tempered, caring wizard. Often he would share his supply of Old Toby and comfort Radagast after Saruman had made some typically mean remark to him. But tonight...

"We can't all be as high and mighty and wise as Saruman the White! But we do our part." The brown wizard's eyes flashed as he nodded violently, "_We do_ do are our part, Gandalf!"

The other nodded quickly, jerkily in response, feeling a tad silly at his vast relief for being included in that "_we_."

"Wizards shouldn't always have to be so serious and grim. I have my rabbits and animals. You are fond of hobbits (cute little creature you had in your company). Perhaps if Saruman had a nice little hobby of his own he would understand...would do him good...," he mused, his gaze growing thoughtful.

Gandalf tried to imagine the leader of their order having a hobby similar to theirs and failed miserably. He jumped at Radagast's high, sharp tone.

"Of course such things are hardly befitting for a wizard, he would say. Nor getting around by _Rhosgobel_ rabbit-drawn sled, oh, no!"

Radagast gripped his staff in both hands and straightened to his full height. Despite being taller than his friend, the grey wizard uneasily took a step or two back.

"Was _he_ the one who realized something was wrong with the forest?" Radagast paused and looked expectantly at Gandalf.

"No!" the wizard answered after beat, shaking his head firmly.

"Would _he_ have found out about it on his own?"

"No!"

"Did _he_ go to Dol-Guldur and discover it is no longer abandoned...the Necromancer?" his voice dropped to a whisper.

"No," Gandalf's tone matched his friend's.

"Was _he_ the one who unexpectedly found himself facing off against a strange, dark spirit?"

"No."

"And would _he_ have been able to ward off it's attacks and cause it to lose it's blade?!"

"Not as well as you managed to, Radagast," Gandalf assured, sincerely impressed by the picture of the wizard crossing blades with such an evil.

The brown wizard sighed, the anger seeming to go out of him. "Years it has been since I've used a sword," he admitted with faint amazement.

"You have done well. You do your part."

Gandalf was rewarded with a knowing smile and a clasp on the shoulder.

"Thank you, Gandalf, my friend. You always manage to cheer my spirits. And you have never belittled me, or gotten on my bad side. But come now! It is getting late."

Resting a hand on the smaller wizard's shoulder, Gandalf walked with him. Silently, he vowed _never again_ to underestimate Radagast - his fighting abilities or temper - and especially never to say a word against his huge rabbits. He would prefer to stay on the wizard's good side, thank you very much.

THE END


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